I enjoyed this, and thought I'd share.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body,

But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, margarita in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming...

"Woo hoo!!! What a ride!!!!!!"

Also, I absolutely do NOT mean to offend anyone by the following, but for anyone who knew, or knows of my Grandmother, you will understand why I included this...

For some time, many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc.

They had one on, Jack Schitt, who in turn married his lovely wife Noe.

The deeply religious couple had six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married her second cousin and high school dropout, Dumb Schitt.

After 15 years of marriage, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwile, her twin son Dip Schitt, married his high school sweetheart, Loda and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition nicknamed, Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens Brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the "Schitt-Happens nuptials."

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned home from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.

Sincerely Yours,

Crock O'Schitt