Thank God for Friends

Ok, so Saturday night I had a 'date'. The first one in a while since I tend to make myself in-accessible most of the time, and with my schedule...good GRIEF! Somehow...my mental state was questionable at the time, or so I thought...and I agreed to meet and talk, after which, I promptly freaked myself out. Desperate to get out of it, but with no way to contact him, I pleaded with a friend to call me and give me an out. She swore she would, but just in case, I asked...let's call her...'Tina' to shop at the Target down the street from where I was meeting said guy. We agreed that if I didn't text a "HELP" message in 45 minutes, that she would call me.

One problem here...she and everybody else on the face of the planet called me in the first few minutes and I turned my phone to silent. After seven unanswered calls, 'Tina' decided to break several traffic laws and show up at the date. She didn't see my car, (which was parked on the other side of the building) and jumped to the only possible conclusion, "He's put something in her drink and drug her to a back alley to kill/maim her!" On the off chance that we were still there, she decided to leave her very pregnant friend, 'Nan' in the car and storm the fort...er...restaurant.

Now, as a side note, I was actually having a good time, nothing frightening about him at all. I actually might walk down a dark alley with him now that I know him better. He showed me pictures of his son, and we were really having a good time...until...Kristina...oh...um...'Tina' made her entrance. My back was to the door, so I didn't see her, but he did and gave me a really funny look. 'Tina' runs right up to our table and demands that I leave "right now" because 'Nan' is at the hospital in labor. I just rolled my eyes, knowing that she was lying, (badly might I add) and asked her to call me when she new anything and I would meet them there later. After saying this in various ways several times, she finally got the message and left...or so I thought. Embarrassed, I explained as best I could. Little did I know, as added precaution, 'Tina' pulled up right next to the window with an obviously pregnant 'Nan' in tow. I didn't even see them, but he did, and asked, "Is that the friend that's at the hospital having the baby?" Mortified, I waved them on and sheepishly told him that they were worried about me.

In my and their defense, he hasn't always 'looked' like the nicest man, (I've known him for over a year). I explained this to him and he laughed telling me that his brother told him he needed to smile more because he looked like a killer.

What would I have done without 'Tina' and 'Nan'? Well, I could have had a nice normal date with a guy that I think I just might like. It still would have been fun without all the drama, but I guess I have something to laugh about now. It doesn't matter anyway, we'll be going out again later this week.

P.S. To any sisters/friends of mine that think it might be a good idea to say something to Mom & Dad about this...very, VERY BAD IDEA!!! Mom's just a little crazy and I refuse to bring anyone home until I'm absolutely ready! Get it? Got it? Good!

A real eye-roller:
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and askes his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's ok, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into the back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there, who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30, 000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"




(you're gonna love this)






(it's a real treat





(a masterpiece)






(wait for it)




The bank manager looks back at her an says...
"It's a knicknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

(you're singing it aren't you...come on...I know you are)

Never take life too seriously.

(You grinned didn't you...uh huh...I know it)